Thursday, November 17, 2005

.... no use going back...


"lately, i feel i don't know what i want.. or somehow confused of something.. so what is it? so i want change... what change? no, change..so i want to hide... hide where? so i want the earth to open up and swallow me... that would be great!! but it would be bad..that would never happen.. so i want to go deep under the sea and just stay there..... impossible.. it's boring in the sea.. unless you're a fish... so i want to stay in my room.. and watch something or read something.. anything... it would be ok.. but too much... "
ever felt these? as if you just don't know what to do, where to go, what to think, what to find? this is boredom...... this is defeat... this is losing one's self.. "

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

loving again


i remember the day
since you left me
i cried alone in my room
bringing back the thought of you
leaving me...



so much to say
just as you left me
your smile that's kept
in my memory
but now you're gone
and now i'm missing you...



if only i could
turn back the time
the time when i'm still
with you...



i'm afraid to love again
you've made a lot of
heartaches in me
can't you see?


i'm afraid to love again
things have fallen apart
but i know
that i don't want you to go



i remember the time
when i had you
the promises we've made
together
still kept in my heart



but now that you're gone
what's left is a memory
but i'm not finding another one
'coz somehow
you're still a part of me...



if only i could
bring back the time
the time when i'm still
with you...



i'm afraid to love again
you've made a lot of
heartaches in me
can't you see?



i'm afraid to love again
things have fallen apart
but i know
that i don't want you to go..

Thursday, September 08, 2005



"..Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that.

But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about...."


-- taken from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

...amidst the pouring rain... everyday.. everynight.. i either cry or smile..but i usually smile.. recently, i couldn't appreciate the rain.. i always cry..oh! why is my heart so weak? i couldn't fight, i want to stand.. i couldn't decide, i want to speak.. though i may speak, i'm not sincere.. and so my heart is so weak.

Monday, May 09, 2005

".....would like to ask him some stupid questions like "how do you know a genuine love from a love that is not?" and "boys will alwaya be boys... yes... but how do you reconcile that with girls will be girls?"

you will be able to know that love is genuine if you you would no longer be thinking of yourself, you would be willing to sacrifice your own happiness for the person you love, you also do stupid things which you don't normally do like "inserting your shirt for the first time after 9 long years" ;p, you also begin to watch those sappy corny love story movies that you used to hate before, when you're together with her you seem to paced your steps with her even though you don't usually walk that slow, before parting ways....you always look back once in a while and at the same time going your way, you hit each other with a friendly "slap", and you also begin to hum those "gross" love song classics (eewww), sometimes when you just see her you just got something in you that you wanna bite her shoulder (nanggigil) and many many more. this is based through experience... mark


so, it's basically the idea of expanding one's love feeling.. real love is when you are not selfish anymore.it is when you are not in the so called "in love" feeling. (is that it?) everyone has his/her own love-love concept.. what is ideal may not apply to everyone.. and as to girls will be girls- well, men can never live without women! pchan

Monday, May 02, 2005

from mark...
first and foremost, when it comes to relationship, guys don't or never really count the time that has been spent on a relationship, what usually matters to us is the quality of the time spent with the girl whether it be months or years. now we proceed with the question "what then is quality time?". the answer is it depends, it may be the time when you both had an arguement wherein it reached to the point that you're both about to give up and then suddenly by a twist of faith one of you just had a changed of mind and decided to save the relationship; situations like this would really result to strenghtening your bonding. another example also would be in times when all the world is against you however you still stood by each other no matter what the consequences maybe.
"after 7 years together you're just going to throw everything away?!!!! grrrrrrrr". have you girls also asked yourself why the guy actually did this, maybe you've been cold over the last previous weeks or you may have been very busy over some useless activities which actually made us think also that we are no longer one of your primary concerns (yes KSP ang mga guys) and take note also that it is really never easy for us just to let go of a relationship, we are very aware that we are not handling things but handling humans that have feelings(maybe not all of us). but we are just considering a simple fact that if we are going to settle with the girl, she better be the right girl or we will be damned for all eternity spending the rest of our useless miserable lives with the wrong person, it's like a domino effect, when you're with the wrong person everything else also would be wrong like you're always on a foul mood, you seem to be living an empty life, your job sucks and finally it may even reached to the point wherein we are seeing a viscious evil hag in front of us where instead we should be seeing our bestfriend, our princess, our queen, our other half or the center of our universe. if we will stick to the basics Boys will really be boyz and alwayz be immature but our love is always genuine, it's just that most of the times it's the girl that changes and literally chokes us up.
...Inside the world of girls inlove…

What’s in a boy and girl relationship? One might say that there should be “love”.. “I love you… and I love you”; “do you really love me?”; “prove to me that you love me”- these happen to be “powerful words” of expressing “love”.
What is love anyway?… well, it could be something like “this” for someone, and like “that” for other someone and “should be” for somebody.. Whatever it is, it usually depends on the “love” of a person.. anything can be ideal… Confusing, right?
They say girls are faithful when they love.. That is why, they cry and hurt the most when guys leave them for “other girls” or for good.. others may resort to more serious acts of “ending” one’s life.. however, wrong or not, it can happen to guys, too.. (or does it not?..)
How do girls love? It’s only either they like the guy too much or not too much.. and from there is the start of complications--- inside the world of girls inlove…
Consider the following situations:
Situation 1: For four years, a girl and a boy seemed happy with their relationship… and it happens, the boy found a new girlfriend before breaking up with the girl.. naturally, the girl was hurt and told the boy “it’s over..” . worse, the boy didn’t say anything and just displayed a let it be attitude.. so the girl and the boy broke up.. and it ended up with the girl crying the most..
Situation 2: For seven years, a girl and a boy seemed satisfied with their secret relationship. The girl likes the boy so much and vice versa. Then it happens that the boy left her for another girl and got the girl pregnant without a formal break up with the girl… and it ended up again with the girl crying the most..
Situation 3: A girl happens to like this boy very much.. and tried to do things to get the boy’s attention… but the boy just doesn’t like her.. the girl tried a lot of things just to please the boy, and then the boy found out that the girl likes him, but no reaction at all.. so the girl continues to get closer with the boy….. suddenly, she found out that the boy got a girlfriend already.. and it ended up again with the girl crying the most..
Situation 4: A girl really wanted to have a boyfriend.. but just couldn’t find one.. there are guys who seem to like her, but she just doesn’t like any of them.. the girl wanted to fall in love naturally.. and the guy that she wants to fall in love with hasn’t arrived yet..
And it ended up with the girl sighing the most..

Situation 5: A girl who happens to have a boyfriend.. and tried to find another boyfriend.. and befriended another guy and become her boyfriend.. and so on.. something like hitting as many birds with one stone.. and it ended up with the girl envied with others girls… (how can she do that?!)
These situations are just one of those hundred situations in the world of girls in love.. and as always, the girls are the ones who cry a lot at the same time could easily justify their actions.. being in love is a really nice feeling and sometimes we can never really tell until we experience being in love.. girls appreciate most “sweet gestures”, kisses, cards, flowers, etc.. and throw them away if something awful happens.. but what does a girl dream most? Well, only a girl knows what’s best!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

summer class


i have summer class for six weeks.. i'll be spending my 6 long weeks studying. yeah, studying..it's been 3 weeks from the start of my summer classes.. only 3 weeks more to go before summer ends.
i've been tied up with everyday quizzes- short quizzes and long quizzes- so i study a lot.. well, even though the schedule is a little bit tight, i have been learning a lot of things about nursing. in our ncm 100 subject, our clinical instructor discussed about the nursing process- how to assess patients. {really very interesting. however, i feel a little bit anxious- maybe the feeling is whether i can do it or not.. but there is no turning back.. that's why i should never give up.} there are also highly technical terms. (at least now, i've been able to memorize the 12 cranial nerves.. which i supposed to have it memorized in my anatomy class.. sorry!) he's very practical and a very good teacher, i think.. ( and he's good looking,too! hehe. joke! joke!)
another is my microbiology subject.. very interesting... i like the subject... (survival of the fittest..) even how comprehensive the long quizzes, i'm learning to change my study habits...

Monday, April 18, 2005

i happen to browse over the mp3 files and found a nice song by george duke.. when i first heard it, i like the intro, more so, the tune and i tried to find the lyrics on the net.. and i found it.. i don't know why, i kept on listening to the song.. i played it over and over again.. i read the lyrics.. and i couldn't really figure out the meaning.. anyhow, it's now one of my favorites..

i was born to love you


you walk into my life
and change the balance of my days
with your eyes you say
i am yours and you are mine

but still something's very wrong
no i can't just go along
though you want to stay
i must find a reason to delay

we're not the same
you playing games, i know
but if i keep my feeling strong
i'll find the song you sing
though i can tell we're worlds apart
and in my heart it's clear
that love has found a cloudy day
i'm here to say that i
was born to love you

such a lovely face
with a warm and tender smile
though i want you so
it's found in deep inside, i keep saying

don't trust your heart this time
could my mind be playing games
am i so betrayed that my heart and mind
can never be the same

we're not the same
you playing games, i know
i'll find the song you sing
though i can tell we're worlds apart
and in my heart it's clear
that love has found a cloudy day
i'm here to stay that
i was born for you...

.. i was born to love you more..

Wednesday, February 16, 2005



my PRIDE...
watashiwa haru.. anatawa aki.. we are connected by the seasons..






PRIDE

that night, as i've watched j-dorama.. i couldn't helped saying how COOL kimutaku was.. i have been watching some of his j-doramas like: beautiful life, long vacation, and love generation.. well, it was nice and so far i can say, PRIDE wa daisukiiiiii dayo... kimutaku doesn't have any role transition in terms of "dealing with love" but he was just sooooo kakkoii in pride.. and yuko takeuchi ( totally kawaii....) - they're quite a pair..


.... deaeta koto kara subete wa hajimatta... (why am i saying this?) i just want to say it..



Thursday, February 10, 2005

chocolate sundae snack


the vital statistics exam last wednesday was "overly draining".. an energy draining exam.. it took us more than two hours to finish it. but for me a-more-than-two-hour-exam is not enough to finish the kind of exam given last wednesday... during the exam, everybody was quiet except the sound of the "calculator keys"- and i'm sure everybody was nervous, trying hard to answer all the questions.. at first, i tried to be calm since the exam was all about computations ( which i'm not really good at it ^~^) but then my tension rose up when the teacher announced that we only have 10minutes left.. i didn't think much of the time and there were still questions yet to be answered.. fortunately, the teacher was considerate enough and gave us an extension.. i finished the exam.. but...... i..... failed.. i think... ( *sigh* )

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

i should not worry.. i should not..



lately, im a little bit worried about my grade.. or should i worry? maybe because i failed two quizzes in a row.. a really failed mark.. it's already the start of our midterm exams.. and we only have one term test left.. i should study hard... i don't know, it can't be helped... hmmmm, i can do it!!!!!! ^-^

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

korean series...

december 18 last year was the last day of school before the start of our christmas break.. i couldn't wait for it since i was so excited to stay at home and watch and watch and watch and watch new korean movies and korean series.. well, i have watched some korean series and to name a few:



> BEAUTIFUL DAYS- my first korean series.. starred LEE BYUNG HUN and CHOI JI WOO.. i'm really inlove with this series.. it's worth staying up late and shedding tears.. (^-^)



> WINTER SONATA- i'm not sure if it's the second series that i've watched, anyways, BAE YONG JUN is very handsome and being paired up with CHOI JI WOO= they look good together.. still, CHOI JI WOO and LEE BYUNG HUN in BEAUTIFUL DAYS, is still number one for me.. (*-*)



> SUMMER SCENT - ahhh, this series made me fell in love with SONG SEUNG HUN- he's very cooooool here paired up with the very feminine SON YE JIN.. it's about destiny..



> ALL IN- well, second to BEAUTIFUL DAYS, this series is very impressive.. all the actors are great,basta, it's very impressive.. LEE BYUNG HUN and SONG HE GYO are quite a pair. (*-*)



> ATTIC CAT- KIM RAE WON and JUN DA BIN, nice pair up in here..(*-*) KIM RAE WON sometimes looks like JERRY YAN (f4).. hehe.. JUN DA BIN played her character well...i watched this series together with my mom for the first time.. we tried to finish it the whole night and the next morning and the next night.. she can't wait to watch another series again..



> SUCCESSFUL STORY OF BRIGHT GIRL - JANG NARA and JANG HYUCK (?)= a very nice couple in this series.. i don't know what to say anymore..



> SANG DOO! LET'S GO TO SCHOOL!!! - was a bit confused of the opening of the story.. but in the later part, im more interested with BORI, SANG DOO'S daughter.. very touching story..



LOVE LETTER= it's a nice story.. hehe..





> ROMANCE - [actually, the series mentioned above were from pochie.. im very grateful that she let me borrowed all]. (thanks poch.. thank you very much.. im very lucky to have you... 0(-.-0) this series is the first ever series that i bought.. the stars KIM HA NEUL (my favorite korean actress) and KIM JAE WON, they did good here.. to those girls who have bfs 6 years younger than them, try to watch this one!!


********************************************************************

and lastly... for the PERFECT PAIR...
LEE DONG GUN and HAN JI HYE in... SWEET 18....